I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
