But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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