weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Say something about gay babies.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
