It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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