Fine. I'll sleep in my office
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
