Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
