Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
This is my life. Enjoy the view
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Randomize
