My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
