i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
