omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize