Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
