I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
