Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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