Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
