I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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