All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
