He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize