Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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