As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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