TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
