Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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