I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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