Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
