You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
