i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
