maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
