did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
