It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Found your dick twin last night
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize