You work out of a Hotel?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
We are two peas in an std pod
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
