She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
