I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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