Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
