Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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