What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
