I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
