I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize