He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
