batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
