Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
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