I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize