i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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