If that was your dad, he is hot
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
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