States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
