filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
