But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I can't turn off my feet"
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
