last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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