Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
