I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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