these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
