i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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