What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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