we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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