all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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