their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
a search helicopter?!
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
