turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
