i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
