What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
