i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
