Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
