So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
