What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize