I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
