I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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