I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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