Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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