Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize