hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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