I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
the room spins SO much faster in panama
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize