Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
